If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that I often refer to my GF Alison. Alison was a fellow publicist, a musical theatre junkie and the best friend I ever had. In 2015, we lost her to cervical cancer after she battled the disease on and off for nearly two years.

On the anniversary of her passing in November, I usually take the day off and go visit her resting place. I go to the grocery store she introduced me to and have lunch by myself and try to live in the moment and put my phone away. Some years it’s a hard day, other years I find it beautiful. Grief is a tricky emotion that can sneak up on you at any point.

But on December 6, Alison’s birthday, I try to celebrate her because I know that’s what she would want, so today I thought I would share one of my favourite stories, one that happened toward the end of her life.

During the fall of 2015 when Alison was at home in palliative care, our friend Jenny had told me that she had ordered something for us that was very special, and she was anxious for it to arrive. One day when we coordinated a visit to see Alison, Jenny presented us with individual copies of the An Awesome Book of Love! by Dallas Clayton. It’s a children’s book with beautiful illustrations and rhymes with a deep message of gratitude, possibility and love. As I flipped through the pages, my eyes welled up because I felt like it was the simplest, most beautiful way to explain our friendship. The three of us had been close since meeting 10 years earlier.

A few days later, we were both back at Alison’s for another visit, along with our friend Jess and several other of her family members. Someone picked up the book and asked where it had come from. I can’t remember how it started exactly, but we all gathered around her bed and started passing the book around, each reading a page. I watched my BFF as she smiled and closed her eyes, listening to us read to her.

If a church is defined as “two or more people coming together in God’s name”, then in that moment we were the Church of Alison. It was the best people in her life coming together, for her. I knew as she closed her eyes, she was imprinting this memory into her mind. I closed my eyes and did the same, tears running down my face.

Ironically a few days ago, I was with my friend Jess and we were talking about Alison. I said to her, “Do you remember the day when…” Jess smiled. She knew exactly what I was about to say. It was truly one of the most pure, beautiful moments of love that either of us had I’ve ever experienced.

When I had Christos, I put away the book in hopes of reading it to him one day. When I found it earlier this year, it was severely bent from not being packed away properly. I’m not someone who is overly attached to things, but I caught my breath when I saw the book in a semi-broken state. Then I realized it didn’t really matter. No amount of battering would ever make me want a different copy. The pages of that specific copy of the book were completely filled with love.

“I would march through the rain
I’d jump out of a plane
Put the world on my back I’ll still race down a train
And I’ll stand down whole armies defending your name
But you know that’s not all that this love is about
Sometimes it’s a whisper when you feel you could shout
Or just being around when the others have gone
Or about letting go when you want to hold on

It’s about living life with such strength and emotion
And knowing that waves are just part of the ocean
And that ocean, that ocean goes on for forever
Just like the love that has brought us together”

An Awesome Book of Love! is now displayed near a lamp in our living room. I like to know that the most precious book I own is sitting next to me every day as I go about daily life. I can’t wait until I can read it to Christos and tell him about his amazing Auntie Ali, who would have smothered him with love every chance she had.